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What is a Haiku?

A haiku be a poem with three lines and only seventeen syllables. The first and third lines of the poem gotta 'ave exactly five syllables. And the middle line must 'ave seven. Or it's a floggin' for ya!

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Meet One Leg Sterling (Alter Ego of Michael P. Spradlin)

One Leg Sterling began his pirating career in 1765 at the ripe, young age of 8 as cabin boy to the notorious scallywag Captain Figg aboard The Yellow Swallowtail. His experience in marauding, drinking, and wenches propelled his climb through the pirate ranks until he became one of the most feared of Pirate captains, One Leg Sterling of The Black Thunder. He traveled across the globe, from Cape Fear, North Carolina, to the treacherous waters of the Spanish Main, even following Ferdinand Magellan's tracks along Cape Horn. He fought ninjas, gaining an appreciation for skilled hand-to-hand combat and the advantages of the throwing star, escaped an impending marriage to a native beauty, and even led his team of buccaneers in numerous defeats of the British Marines. During his prime, he was a notorious womanizer and was respected for his cultivated tastes in fine rums. A worldly Pirate, Sterling used his experience while marooned on a desert isle off the coast of Japan to study and master the haiku.

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Links to Other Pirate Sites

Now listen 'ere mateys. Old Cap'n One Leg is a right tough pirate, for certain. But he don't take kindly to foul languages nor magic pictures when there's ladies and wee ones about. So if ye be havin' a link and ye'd like it posted 'ere then make sure it's PG 13. No exceptions! The Cap'n don't take kindly to lyin' bilge rats and if he finds ye out you'll be tastin' the Cap'n's steel and beggin' to be sent to Davy Jones locker!

'ere's some Fancy Rags!

'ere be a link on the history of piracy! Lies! Lies!
ThinkQuest: History of Piracy

'ere be a translator to 'elp you savvy the pirate in yer life!
English-to-Pirate Translator

A link to some secret parlay's of yer fellow buccaneers! Keep it to yer self! We don't want no unexpected visitors showin' up who might be flyin' Billy Jack!
Pirate Festivals

If you've got a link yer pesterin' me to hang, drop me a message in a bottle an I'll give it all due consideration!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies!MORE FROM MICHAEL:
If you like this book, you might also like It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols, also by Michael Spradlin.

Pirate Haiku

Bilge-sucking Poems of Booty, Grog, and Wenches for Scurvy Sea Dogs

The ship sails avast! I have lost the map, mateys! No shaking booty! Come sail the seven seas aboard the notorious Black Thunder! Landlubbers have a first-mate seat to the grizzly life of 18th century pirates – as told by the surprisingly poetic if salty One-Leg Sterling. Shiver me timbers, never before have we poppets been privy to the gritty goings-on of the rum-running, treasure-thieving, marauding masters of the open sea from the inside out… until now! From trading rum for buxom beauties to fighting that quarrelsome British Navy, Pirate Haiku reveals the swaggering derring-do of these plundering and treacherous buccaneers – 17 syllables at a time!

October 14, 2010

Adams Media
ISBN-10: 1440509832 • ISBN-13: 978-1440509834

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News and Reviews

“It’s delightfully absurd. And besides, pirates beat ninjas any day of the week.”

~ High Coup Journal
Read the full review

“It’s a book called Pirate Haiku – do you really need an explanation? Ok, it’s also calls itself “Bilge-sucking Poems of Booty, Grog, and Wenches for Scurvy Sea Dogs.” Clear now?

Pirate Haiku is exactly that – 185 pages of haikus (one per page) about pirates doing piratey things. And while haiku purists might point out that while the 5-7-5 format remains intact, very few of these poems exhibit the meditative qualities or the kigo generally required in Japanese hai…

Wait, what the hell am I saying? This is supposed to be a review of a pirate haiku book, and I’m prattling on about the lack of seasonal references? Who cares, so long as there’s rum and seaborne violence? And Pirate Haiku dishes these up in abundance. There is, in fact, an entire chapter dedicated to rum, and another to wenches. And another, even, to pirates vs. ninjas, which would seem fitting considering the book’s format.

As East and West meet
form’s purity may waver
but rum reigns supreme
-Bilgemunky, 2010, summarizing Pirate Haiku is the most smartass way he can muster

Pirate Haiku would seem a perfect bathroom reader – something to pick up and grab a random page now and then. But in this it’s misleading because, to my own surprise, Pirate Haiku contains some semblance of a plot. These aren’t random selections, but rather poems with a progression from one to the next. A story is told, references revisited, and in-jokes formed and enjoyed. And this is what sets Pirate Haiku up a notch or two from being a mere collection of silliness. It should be enjoyed from beginning to end and in that order, because at the end of it all there is indeed a madness behind the method.”

Read the full review