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A Treasure Map To Booty For All The Buccaneers On Your List…

Ahoy mateys! While a true pirate never takes a break from raidin’ and wenchin’ some scallywags have a downtime this part of the year they call the holidays! And they give each other gifts. Arrgh! As long as the gifts be plundered yer Cap’n has designs on a few baubles for the no good bilge rats on yer bootly list this holiday.

1) Ye can’t be a member of the crew if ya ain’t secured yer copy of Pirate Haiku: Bilge Sucking Poems Of Booty Grog And Wenches For Scurvy Sea Dogs. Ye needs it in yer ships library right away, so no lollygaggin’.

Pirate Haiku: Bilge-Sucking Poems of Booty, Grog, and Wenches for Scurvy Sea Dogs

2) You’ll want to be lookin’ stylish while yer plunderin’ in the New Year. And for that ye need the Got Rum? T-shirt. It be available in two dozen colors and sizes up to 5XL. What ye be waiting for?

Got Rum? T-Shirt

3) Fer the wee buccaneer on your list, you’ll want ‘em readin’ Pirates full of great drawin’s and snappy poems yer wee one will love it…

Pirates by David L. Harrison

4) I got no use for the so-called Dread Pirate Roberts. A fancy, pretty boy if you ask me. Almost worse than Sparrow. But the man does now his swords and you’ll be slicin’ through Florin pirates or Union Jackies like a hot knife through butter with this baby.

pirate sword

5) Speaking of Sparrow. He better hope I never catch him as he still owes me a fair ‘mount of doubloons. But I gotta say he knows how to spin a yarn and ye can get all four of his lies in one treasure chest. Now that’s a deal any pirate worth his salt would make.

Pirates of the Caribbean

6) I’m tellin’ ya if you’re planning on buyin’ yer we youngin’ a Playmobil Pirate Ship, you might best buy one for the grown up as well. It’s just too much fun.

Playmobil Pirates Set Pirate Ship

7) If the wee buccaneers start to drive ye crazy during the holidays before they get back to school. Get ‘em busy on the Pirates Activity book. Lot’s of fun for the whole crew.

Pirates Activity Book


The Pirates Be Comin’!

And no ye sea dogs, I don’t mean the ones from Pittsburgh. I’m talkin’ o’ course about the scurvy sea dog Jack Sparrow who in 20 short days will be back at the magic picture palace in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and pilferin’ all ye hard earned plunder jes to see more a’ his lies!

Well never let it be said that One Leg Sterling (and a far superior pirate to Sparrow, I might add) don’t have a sense a’ fun. Jes because ole Jack is spinnin’ lies I figure ye all, the best crew there is, should get some swag will we celebrate a month of Pirate hijinks.

An exciting tale of sea-faring during the Napoleonic Wars!

So, all month long, I’ll be holdin’ contests here at Pirate Haiku headquarters and over on the Facebook Fan Page. And to start it off, you can win 2 free Piratey books for the wee ones, both signed by the authors! The first is PIRATES

A Pirate Book to start out yer wee poppets library

and the second is THUNDER FROM THE SEA! beautiful picture books to add to yer wee poppets library!

Here’s what ye got to do to win! Post a Pirate Haiku here on the site. That’s it! I’ll be pickin’ two winners at the end of the month! Enter as many times as you like but only the two best Haikuists will win.

Remember…both of these books be scrawled on by the authors! Which I hear tell makes ’em more valuable. Put on yer tri-cornered thinkin’ hat and start scribblin’! And may the best Haiku’s win!


One Leg Sterling

Some Plunder For Ye To Ponder

Ahoy ye poppets!

Ole Cap’n One Leg Sterling here!

This was a right good season of piratin’ and I’ve spied a passel of baubles ye might want to plunder fer yer crew. So pay attention or it’s the cat fer ye!

I don’t know how he does it. That’s right it be Jack Sparrow I’m speakin’ of. Tarnation if he ain’t had a life not a third as interestin’ as me. But somehow he gets a movie made of his questionable exploits and next thing you know he’s all over the silver screen. Worst pirate I ever heard of. Still, I got to give the devil his due. He manages to tell a right entertainin’ tale and gives it to them Brit weasels time and again. And what’s more, he’s got a new lie comin’ to theaters in May. I don’t know how that brigand finds the time. If you ain’t seen it yet, or if you ain’t got the whole kit and kaboodle of movies in one boxed set, here is a link for ye for all three at a fair price.

Now, when I ain’t out thievin’ and scouring the Main for plunder and keepin’ an eye out fer Blackbeard, I like chillaxin in my cabin with a good yarn. A page turner if you know what I mean. In fact there ain’t nothing the Cap’n fancies better than a well told tale of adventure on the high seas. You’d think I’d want less ships and more wenches or a nice girly romance story. Now mind you, I like a nice rom com as much as the next bloodthirsty killin, thievin’, buccaneer. But when I read about the great ocean explorers, I get a tingle down my spine. And right now, on my readin’ table, lies Morning Of Fire: John Kendrick’s Daring American Odyssey In The Pacific. I knew ole Kendrick, knew him well. I ain’t exactly sure I’d call him a pirate, but a brigand fer sure. And if you long for the days where the sea spray splashed in yer face and yer three masted schooner leapt across the waves like an antelope across the prairie this is the book fer you.

And it may come as a surprise to you landlubbers but the Cap’n has a real soft spot in his heart for the wee little Pirates. And if’n you have a young matey who fancies himself an eye patch and a parrot, then there is another book you won’t want to miss. It’s called Pirates (duh) and it features poems by poet David Harrison and paintin’s by Don Burr. Both of ’em men of questionable character and fair warnin’ if ye come across ’em don’t turn yer back on either as they’ll pinch yer poke fer sure. But this here book is worth every dubloon and one even a grown-up will find amusin’ (especially after a few spots a grog! Arrgh!) Click here to order yer copy! And remember, no plunderin!

That’s it fer now matey’s the Cap’n’ll return again soon with more suggestions for baubles that’ll calm yer pirate cravin’s.

Ahoy! Raise the mizzen’, hoist the thing and that other thing!

One Leg Sterling

Susan Elizabeth Phillips’s Haiku

Pink sloop on the sea
Pirate Barbie on the loose
No Ken. Walked the plank.

From New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Visit her website at

Mates! Keep away from
Fragile hauls ’cause stormy seas
Will shake your booty.

From First Mate Bill Phillips

David L. Harrison’s Haiku

Last night women grog
today sick plenty confused
think I’m in trouble

From Bestselling Illustrator David L. Harrison

Visit his website at

Jeff Weigel’s Haiku

Avast, me hearties!
Our reputations live on
thanks to Johnny Depp.

From New York Times Bestselling Illustrator Jeff Weigel

Visit his website at

Marc Tyler Nobleman’s Haiku

Here’s what me missing:
One eye, two thumbs, three rib bones
And all but one tooth

From Bestselling Author Marc Tyler Nobleman

Visit his website at


A Pirate’s Life for Me

Arrgh! Ahoy Mateys
Pirates never talk like that
Except in theme parks.

Welcome to yer official Website for Pirate Haiku: Bilge Sucking Poems of Booty, Grog and Wenches for Scurvy Sea Dogs. This here is a family friendly site bringin’ the book to a vast (ha! He said avast!) audience of buccaneers and landlubbers. So spend some time pokin’ around. Then I suggest ye raid yer local bookstore for yer own copy (no stealin’ it either! Thar be time for plunder later).

What’s a haiku ye say? It’s a form a poetry made famous by the Japanese (and watch out for ninja’s while ye be about this here site. The bilge-rats can turn invisible!) The first line of yer poem has five syllables, then the next line seven and the last line five! It’s easy and fun so write yer own pirate-themed haiku and post it ‘ere! But keep it PG-13 or it’s the cat-o-nine tails for yer sorry hide!

Thar be many more fun things fer you an yours to do here at Vote fer yer favorite Pirate! Read the celebrity guest haiku! And most important tell all yer friends!

Watch this site for where the pirate will be raidin’ at bookstores and libraries near you. And if you don’t show up I’ll have Blackbeard’s Ghost himself pay you a visit!

Until next time!


One Leg Sterling

Stephen Dafoe’s Haiku

Shiver me Timbers
We seem to have hit a rock
Water rising fast

From Bestselling Author Stephen Dafoe

Visit his website at

Julia Quinn’s Haiku

Damsel in distress
I have no patience for you
Find your own !@#%$@ pirate

note: !@#%$@ is silent, and thus this haiku still adheres to the strict 5-7-5 rhyming pattern.

From New York Times Bestselling Author Julia Quinn

Visit her website at